My water broke at 34 weeks in 1995.  Spencer was born 4 days later, 5 weeks/2 days early.  At a healthy weight of 6 lbs, we were led to believe that everything was fine.  Spencer was very colicky the first 3 months, very demanding, very intense.  At one point, he was eating every 2 hours; he consumed btwn 10-15 jars of baby food a day at 8 months old.   

When Spencer was a year old, I knew that something "was off."  We made a point of not comparing him to other children since children develop at different rates. 

When he intensely disliked a music class we attended (aren't all kids supposed to love music?!?!?) or was unable to calm himself or did not like to play peek-a-boo, I blamed myself. 

Spencer started talking at 17 months.  His first word was "dog."  At 19 months, he started "losing" words; he was unable to repeat words he had learned and then his speech slowly became unintelligible.  Concerned, I contacted our pediatrician, who had come highly recommended and had been truly wonderful up to that point.  I was told "don't worry, he's a boy; let's wait until he's 3."  As first-time parents we didn't know any better, so we listened to him because doctors know best, right?

At 3, Spencer was diagnosed with Verbal Apraxia of Speech.  This initial diagnosis led to many other diagnoses over the 7 years since his initial evaluation:  Sensory Processing Disorder, Auditory Processing  Disorder, Global Dyspraxia.  I'm not afraid to "label him" because these labels help us get accommodations for him in school and find the right therapy.  They in no way mean that he is cognitively impaired. 

Our Occupational Therapist (OT) recommended the book "The Out of Sync Child;" I cried when I read the book because it was like reading a story about our lives.  We had never been able to do the things that other families do -- go on outings, go to the mall, just be happy together.  Spencer continues to be a very intense child at age 10.  Identified as Gifted/Learning Disabled, he's facing even more new challenges but he understands his gifts and, despite an aversion to writing, he dreams of being an architect.

And, oh, by the way, when my youngest son Kurt at 18 months was showing similar speech patterns, that same pediatrician told us that we didn't need an evaluation and nothing could be done at such a young age anyway.  Needless to say, we found a new pediatrician the next day and Kurt has also been in therapy since then.

Kurt has been a challenge in ways different from his brother.  He suffered severe gravitational insecurity as an infant -- afraid to walk down the stairs or be carried.  I could never calm him because I would give him soft mommy hugs; Daddy with his huge bear hugs, did much better.  Many years later we found out that Kurt needs deep pressure to calm down.   Luckily, intensive therapy has helped although he continues to be burdened by many intense anxieties.  Kurt is intensely sensitive on all levels which helps him tune into the emotions of others, a very helpful skill! 

In small steps, I am on a personal mission to educate parents to be more attuned to their childrens' development; if your instinct tells you that something is "off", go with your instinct!  It's better to get an evaluation at an early age, which says "nothing is wrong" than to wait and find out that you lost valuable time.  There is nothing wrong with getting your child evaluated.  The earlier you start, the better off your child will be.  A regular pediatrician knows all about childhood illnesses, ear infections, etc.  but may not be completely attuned to child development.  Find a developmental pediatrician or, even better, the county offers free evaluations and services through the Infants and Toddler Program for children to age 3 and through Child Find for kids ages 3 and up. 

Mothers know their children better than anyone.  As his mother, I always knew that Spencer was "different."  You try not to compare your child to others.  Yet, at the same time, there are some developmental red flags.  A child who never crawls may experience reading disabilities.  I have learned that crawling is the most important motor development skill that infants acquire because it involves getting the two hemispheres of the brain to work in sync.  This critical brain interaction is also required to learn how to read.  We learned at a recent evaluation that, although Spencer and Kurt crawled, they weren't using the appropriate muscles; we had to "reteach" them how to crawl. 

Spencers articulation problems were just a symptom of more serious problems.  Each year seems to bring a new plethora of issues to deal with.  For example, Spencers vision is 20/20; but, when evaluated by a developmental optometrist, it was determined that his eyes do not focus together and he has trouble refocusing when moving his eyes from a chalkboard to his desk.  It amazes me that children who enter school, are not required to have this type of comprehensive eye exam.  If you saw Spencer, you would never think that he has "hidden" disabilities; sadly, his behavior is often attributed to just a "case of bad parenting." 

It has been, and continues to be, a long and often painful journey for us -- finding the right professionals, resources, fighting the school system, fighting insurance companies, paying out-of-pocket for therapy, trying to convince friends and family that this isn't in our head.  I certainly don't purport to be an expert in child development but my experience has been that mothers are the best resource and I try to do whatever I can to educate parents.